Oh Crumbs! Biscuits and Baseball!
I know you have all been waiting with bated breath for this! Yes, this is indeed the final instalment of my insights into which biscuit best represents each MLB team. This started after a pre-podcast chat amongst the @tesbuk podcast group at the start of lockdown and it has consumed my thoughts ever since! You can find Part 1 here and Part 2 here.
Detroit Tigers – Chocolate Digestive: A classic biscuit which has withstood the test of time. Just like the most famous company to come out of Detroit – Ford Motors. The Detroit Tigers too can boast longevity, having been founded in 1903. They also lay claim to having had one of the most celebrated players in baseball history on their roster. Ty Cobb, who is often seen as a classic American baseball hero, and who was voted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1936 in its inaugural year.
Miami Marlins – Party Rings: A fun and bright biscuit, usually reserved for celebrations. While the Marlins haven’t had too much to celebrate since the second of their two World Series titles back in 2003. Miami is known to be a party capital of the world, famed for its pool parties and nightlife. The Miami Marlins jerseys are bright and fun. Whether it’s the electric orange or striking teal colourways, they generally go against the grain of the traditional MLB jersey. With Mr Marlin, the home run sculpture, dual aquariums and a Bobblehead Museum at Marlins Park, fans are bound to have a good time!
Philadelphia Phillies – Britannia Little Hearts: Small sugar-coated heart shaped cookies. Fitting for the city of brotherly love.
Pittsburgh Pirates – Gold chocolate bar: The esteemed treasure chest find of pirates! One of the colour strands of the Pirates uniform and the colour of the famous Roberto Clemente bridge which can be crossed when heading to PNC Park. Aside from the obvious colour connections, it can be said that the Pirates have unearthed some gold over the years in terms of the players they have brought through their farm system. Most notably Andrew McCutchen, Gerrit Cole and Josh Bell.
Seattle Mariners – Swedish Fish Oreos: One of the only fish based biscuits there is. Simply chosen as a nod to the Mariners name and Seattle’s famous Pike Place Fish Market. This quirky new biscuit is quite fitting for a team in which Nintendo – who create weird, wonderful and wacky characters – has 10% ownership of the franchise.
St Louis Cardinals – Taxi: A chocolate biscuit consisting of caramel, wafer and chocolate crème…which no longer exists. An iconic London themed biscuit for a team that would have been involved in the iconic London Series 2020 match up against the Chicago Cubs…but alas this fixture will no longer be.
Tampa Bay Rays – Tunnock’s Teacakes: Simply put, there is no other biscuit out there that represents the hideousness of the dome of Tropicana Field quite so well as a Tunnock’s Teacake! As a Yankees fan, I have witnessed Clint Frazier being denied what could have been a game winning home run in the top of the 9th. After a ball he mashed a mile high hit the B-ring speaker, and was subsequently caught for an out at shortstop. There is a rule in place at the Trop which states that a ball is still in play if it hits the B-ring. At any other ballpark this would have been a clear home run! The 30+ year old domed field is often rated as one of the worst ballparks in MLB. It’s not hard to see why with consistently low attendances and power failures. It must be said though that Tunnock’s Teacakes are actually nice and despite the ballpark fiasco, the Rays have one of the best pitching rotations in MLB which includes the likes of Blake Snell.
Texas Rangers – Bahlsen Baileys Squares Strawberries and Cream: A brand new biscuit from the makers of Choco Leibniz. Stylish looking and guaranteed to be all bells and whistles. A new biscuit for a team with a new shiny ballpark that is bound to be a crowd pleaser. The biscuit itself is a made of wafer – fragile. Like the ballpark itself, which has already had an issue with catching fire. The Rangers themselves could be described as a lightweight team in one of America’s largest states as a result of never having managed to win a World Series.
Washington Nationals – Viennese Whirls: A biscuit which looks very much like an English scone (a national indulgence) with jam and crème layers sandwiched between two shortbread ends. As the nation’s capital, Washington deserves a grand biscuit fit for royalty. After all, the Washington Nationals were crowned royalty of baseball in 2019 after winning the World Series.
Thank you for sticking with my mad ramblings! I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic. You can contact me on twitter: @Team52UKFan.