DFA – Saving Private Pringle

DFA = Dross From Amateurs, we feature posts that don’t quite fit anywhere on the internet. At all.

I recently endured* a terrifying parenting moment. (*This never happened)

While walking along a busy road, my youngest daughter decided to let go of my hand, begin running and then turn to give me a look of “I’ve broken free and you’re never going to catch me.” Then swerved towards the road.

In my other hand, my eldest daughter, who at that very same moment, was on the verge of dropping a recently purchased (and overpriced) ice-cream.

I had to alert my youngest daughter about the traffic on the road and I also may have to catch the near horizontal ice-cream. My voice could alert my youngest daughter, but that may cause my eldest daughter to jump in fright, maybe cause the teetering ice-cream to over-teeter (Definitely a word).

Decision time.

Would I have to pick a favourite daughter (eldest) and explain to my wife the decision I had to make?

My training kicked in, my mind processed the options. I needed a bin.

That way I could catch the ice-cream, saving my wallet and bang the bin at the same time, thus alerting my youngest daughter of the incoming danger.

I rapidly scanned the immediate area and saw no bin. My mind raced back to our home and I thought of the three different types of bin we have, right there, just sitting and waiting to be utilised.

Wheely Bin

This is a wheely bin

Capacity – It’s wheely good (no more, I promise) at being big. It’s designed to contain at least two weeks worth of waste.

Sound – Great at making big noises, perfect to alert individuals of the upcoming dangers from rapidly approaching objects.

Portability – Despite the wheels, it’s not particularly portable outside of a roll up the driveway. It also isn’t exactly inconspicuous. If you’re trying to be discreet, this might not be the bin for you.

Overall – Big, loud, obvious.

Kitchen Bin

This is a kitchen (pedal) bin

Capacity – Large enough for a few days worth of rubbish.

Sound – The lack of rapidly falling lid means it requires a second implement to generate noise. A spatula is the ideal tool, but it does mean carrying a spatula at all times.

Portability – Not portable. Awkward to hold.

Overall – Big, quiet (Without a tool), weird to carry.

Food Waste Bin

This is a food waste bin

Capacity – Good for a few days worth of leftovers.

Sound – Not incredibly loud, but the small lid and rapid opening/closing function means multiple bangs can take place. In case one needs to alert someone of differing threats.

Portability – The handle at the back makes this the perfect bin out of the three.

Overall – If you want to be able to catch limited amounts of rubbish, be able to alert other humans of rapidly approaching dangers and be able to take it from location to location, the food waste bin is for you.

This post has absolutely nothing to do with baseball or any recently concluded investigations.

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